I got a rejection! Y’all, I got a rejection this week and initially I was disappointed as most people would be when receiving such news. Even though rejection is a big part of the process as a writer, the no’s always sting a little.

But the #beforemybookdeal hashtag on Twitter and this recent post on THE EVERYGIRL got me thinking about rejection in a whole new way. So has Jenna Fischer’s book The Actor’s Life, which has helpful advice for anyone in a creative field.

And to be honest, my husband helped too. Shout out to you, hubs. He sympathized, which is exactly the right thing to do by the way if you encounter a loved one in this scenario, and then he said, “Keep your head up. They didn’t say no to your other submissions.”

What a way to look at the world. He’s right. I’m still in the game. I’ve submitted to other contests. I’ve got stuff out there. And the very slight chance of success (between 1-5% to precise) keeps me going.

For all you friends out there who are receiving rejections because that’s the writer’s life, here’s what helps me get through.

Wallow for 20 Minutes

I let myself wallow for 10-20 minutes. I listen to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off”. I vent to the hubs. I think about all the sad things like how I’m never going to make it. Then I let it go like my girl Elsa.

File It Away

I physically file the rejection in a folder in my inbox. Something about doing so allows me to move on. Since I put the email away, it no longer takes up my mental energy.

Submit to Something Else

I start looking for other options. What other contests are out there? What other agents might be interested in my work? Continuing to submit keeps the hope alive.

Look at Rejection as a Stepping Stone

I take a page out of Jenna Fischer’s book and look at rejections as one more no on the road to yes. She believes you have to collect 100 no’s before you get a yes.

Do Something For You

I do something I enjoy like reading a new book or going on a run. Maybe not the exact minute I get the rejection but sometime later that day or the next. It’s a good reminder to take care of myself.

Look On the Bright Side

I look for the positives. I have written a whole book y’all. Not just one but two. If a friend told me she had written a book, I’d respond with a million heart emojis, a bunch of yaaas queens, and a ton of beaming pride. So I should remind myself of the things that are going well, too.

Reach Out to Writer Friends

Speaking of friends, it’s nice to have writer friends to commiserate with. Whether online or in person, find a tribe of writers who get it, who will understand your compulsion to read the email an embarrassing number of times, who will rejoice when you receive a personalized rejection. I guarantee these friends will bring you back to a sense of equilibrium.

Armed with these seven tips to embrace (or at least handle) rejection, I hope you continue to create that magnificent sci-fi vampire epic space odyssey or whatever you might be working on. Rejection is just part of the process. We don’t have to let it be any more than that.