There are pros and cons to a writer’s life.

There are many pros to this work and many reasons why I do it. Yes, I can write in my pajamas, and I get to make up magical worlds and study story structure instead of watching the stock market. Sixteen-year-old me is legit freaking out that I get to wake up every day and write. Sure, sometimes it’s hard to remember the positives when I see someone with a more traditional path getting a promotion and a large raise. But I didn’t go that route for a reason. Remember your why and that the pros outweigh the cons.

People might not get it. And that’s okay.

When it comes to sharing that you’re a fiction writer, I find there are two common responses. One is a sense of excitement and support mixed with a tiny hint of jealousy. I don’t think jealousy is necessarily a bad emotion, by the way, as you can read about in a previous post. These people think it’s pretty awesome that you’re going for it and trying to develop a body of material.

In their enthusiasm, they’ll likely ask when your book is coming out. Which is great, you want them to ask when the time comes that you have a book deal. In the meantime, you can give as much or as little information about the industry as you like. You can say it takes years to publish a book or you can try my approach: Thanks so much for asking. I’m in the process of pitching, wish me luck! To people outside the publishing industry, books are ubiquitous and they assume you, being as awesome as you are, have a book deal. It comes from a nice place, so craft a response from a nice place. These are early supporters, treat them that way.

The other camp are those folks who think you might be a little crazy. They may say things like “Oh, what a nice hobby,” or “Good luck making money doing that.” They don’t get that most of you are hustling your hearts out. They don’t understand why you put in hours of work often for little or no pay (at least starting out). And that’s okay. Not everyone has to understand. You probably have no interest in what they do for a living. And that’s okay, too.

Publishing is a long and winding road.

I can’t say it any better than V.E. Schwab’s post about the slow pursuit of overnight success. The publishing process is often nonlinear. Your first book may not launch your career. Your second might not either. It might be your third which then leads people to reexamine your first. Committing to a writer’s life means committing to doing all you can to ensure your success while understanding it might not happen linearly.

Remember you’re a peon and that’s awesome.

At the end of the day, your writing may feel incredibly important. It may seem like no one is taking notice of something you’ve worked hard to perfect. As my brother-in-law says to colleagues at the lawn-mowing manufacturing company where he works, “we’re just cutting grass.” It’s not meant to minimize the work, but rather to put it in perspective. Or as my husband likes to remind me, the universe is big and we’re tiny compared to it. Put in another way: I’m just making up stuff. Really. That’s my job as a fiction writer. Sure, it could be impactful to someone, which is every writer’s hope, but at the end of the day, I’m making up a story. I love it, and it’s hard, and it takes a lot of effort, and yet at the same time, I’m playing make-believe. I’m just cutting grass.

It’s important to be kind to yourself.

We all can be hard on ourselves, particularly our writing. It can be easy to take the opinions of one or two people who don’t enjoy your work as fact. A literary agent rejection or an editorial note that isn’t exactly praise might cause you to reevaluate your life choices. For that reason, it helps to have a support system around you. Of course, have those people who you look to for constructive feedback. People you know, trust, and admire. But also have those people who are cheerleaders. That includes you, dear reader.

I’ll leave you with this, one of the best things you can do as a writer is learn to be kind to yourself. One person’s opinion isn’t everyone’s. It’s not the end all be all. If you can pat yourself on the back when no one else is, you’re one step ahead in this game called publishing.

What do you wish you had known before becoming a writer?